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My Experience of Awakening
I always felt a missing something and I suppose that we all do in one way or another.
I tried many ways to address this, always knowing it was a spiritual thing I was after.
I read some spiritual books as a young guy, including Thich Nah Hahn, The Dalai Lama, the Tao Te Ching. I had a copy of Kalu Rinpoche’s “Gently Whispered” in high school. I was exposed to Christianity in various forms. I found something of it in The Lord of the Rings.
Nature always held a taste of it, its wildness, purity and beauty. I was a big rambler. I liked to just randomly wander in the mountains and woods and streams.
But I should say I was mostly a dissatisfied and even self-destructive seeker. Psychedelics, cannabis and alcohol all played a role.
Music held a special place. I liked especially music with an otherworldly and mystical aspect. The Beatles, Pink Floyd, the Grateful Dead, etc. In general, the 60’s era milieu.
The sense of lack continued, punctuated by moments of clarity and ease.
I took up “formal” meditation in my 20’s after a heart arrythmia set in. I found seated breath meditation helped immensely. I found this described online somewhere in 2004ish.
The moments of simple insight, where I seemed to have what I wanted without any…
